About

PsyRob has succeeded in making the impossible. We synthesized human consciousness and artificial intelligence, thus elevating affordable technologies beyond imagination. From now on, there are no technological tasks our engineers cannot handle. Unlagged cellular teleportation today is as routine as the morning molecular coffee. Seconds are conventional, parsecs are archaic. Fasten your seat belts and get ready for a journey that will make humans lords of the Universe.

     Unfortunately, only a limited number of products and services are supported in your area. However, the virtual communication line has always been considered our strategic priority. In this regard, we promise to constantly expand PsyRob presence in all its variety, even in the most remote corners of the planet.

     An entertainment program, Projects, has already proved itself for the billion-numbered army of PsyRob fans around the world. We hope to win your confidence, as well as money, and then we'll take your house, your wife and your soul (Julia, remove the sentences during the final proofreading). Welcome to PsyRob.

History

PsyRob Milestones

?*17 – Starting point on the way to digital perfection

)?22 – The first “Sci-Fi Geek’s Fantasy” cyber chip implanted.

:%28 – The neural bridge between Shirley the android and Sayid the volunteer is constructed.

«!32 – A breakthrough technology for criminals’ rehabilitation by means of the full and infinite immersion into the virtual reality is introduced.

`~40 – The cloned head of the PsyRob Department of Illegal Cloning Investigation is elected as the new President of /,:.

#{43 – The temporary hyper-quantum serum allowing any clear mind to sense the fourth dimension is invented.

@)46 – The duplicate consciousness is transplanted from one patient to another.

^+52 – Due to the balanced binary diet codec, all plant and animal products are completely excluded from the human beings’ food chain.

<|57 – Bimbo the dog’s holographic projection bites the Pope of Rome, infecting him with rabies.

-+59 – February 29 is declared the World Day of Weightlessness, which is achieved as a result of the Technogenic Cosmo-Shredder launch.

;\60 – Robin Leary from the 37th floor cheats on his wife with John Smith from the Reproductive (No, Robin, I won’t delete this sentence).

Disclaimer

     Qualitative change in the lives of our members is the main task for the PsyRob management and all ordinary employees. We pay the closest attention to even such trifles as the eye color of our cyborg assistants on helium fueling stations. This is why the number of PsyRob fans is growing exponentially, literally every second.

Of course, the rapid growth of the conglomerate popularity irritates our competitors, who fall really far behind. Spouting loud curses, they are struggling to stall our progress by all means and even the most heinous methods. In particular, counterfeit products allegedly marked by the PsyRob are occasionally found on the offline and online markets.

     Thus, in order not to fall a victim to a dirty fraud, we recommend that you carefully check the product before purchasing. PsyRob quality is guaranteed by the following: an emerald hologram with your name, a measured characteristic whistling in your ears appearing when you approach the display case, bystanders (advisably complete strangers) approvingly patting you on the back, and a welcoming seller’s smile.

Otherwise, PsyRob cannot be held responsible for negative side effects that may occur as a result of your interactions with a product. E.g., if you feel sick and notice that your eye sclera has begun to arbitrarily change its color or your hip joint came out of the articular capsule, then most likely it is a low-quality counterfeit product. Please take all the necessary precautions and be very vigilant, then all the haters won’t stand a chance. Let's come together to make PsyRob the monopoly, so the new digital era will be here tonight. Or at least tomorrow morning.

Projects

     The time of biological idols is almost over. The digital intelligence advent has provoked an explosive demand growth for the entertainment of a completely different level. Just imagine that your favorite actor can simultaneously star in ten different movies, he needs no make-up because his appearance, weight, height, and age automatically adjust to the right profile in the blink of an eye, he never gets tired or sick and he can’t hurt himself on the set. While human musicians, artists and reality show stars are constantly drinking, fighting and dying from overdoses, our celebrities are conquering new pinnacles of skill.

     The entertainment product “Projects” is specially designed for users who are tired of the dull tabloid gossip. We’ve carried out the most extensive casting among the ever-generated intellects in the history of computerization to select some of the most outstanding characters. From now on, they will fight for our public’s precious attention. PsyRob’s presence in the entertainment industry market will be solid and everlasting. So, think carefully before buying another ticket, to see a movie with relic fossils.

     Trust us at least once, and your world will never be the same again.

Project Pastorate

On December 31, 999 AD, the Pope Sylvester II, an infamous blasphemer, who received his post by beating the Devil at dice, solemnly celebrated the last Mass. The bell rhythmically tolled the last moments of mankind before the Judgment Day. “Our Father in heaven, save and protect us, sinners, from the infernal gorges flames and the hellhounds that bared their fangs to tear our souls.” It didn’t help. The end of the world came right on schedule and showed no mercy.

Only a few fortunate managed to escape the cataclysm on a remote and unknown island. This community subsequently spawned the first Pastor, the hierarch under whose government the new state grew and flourished with time.

Eventually, new Pastors came, and with them changed the flock. Changed until the handmade paradise was stricken with the deafening thunderclap — a murder was committed. Then another one and another one… At that time arsons, cattle rustling and robberies began. Gradually, the darkness superseded the sunlight…

Lambs grew weary of being laid under a hatchet, so they cried and crawled to their Pastor, begging the Father to hurriedly deal with the flayers, restore order in the common house. Thus, the Devoters appeared, the hope and support of ordinary people, their defenders and protectors, making silver linings seen to the hearts tormented by injustices.

There is no cold fierce enough, no heat hot enough, no storm or hurricane deadly enough to stop the Devotees from fighting the wicked with seething zeal and ready swords. They live for the sake of their people. And for the sake of their people, they would die. This is their story, unveiled and unadorned, exactly as the Pastorate chroniclers told it over many generations.

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